Entry
Know Your Calling
June 29th, 2009
Looks like it's time for my monthly blog post. I'm not done with my Why Liberalism? series yet. There's still a lot more to say, but I'm going to come back to it later.
I was the substitute teacher in Relief Society this week and it was a lot of fun. I haven't taught RS since I was in the singles' branch right before I got married. Teaching today made me remember why it's one of my all-time favorite callings.
I thought I would share some of my tips for having a great Relief Society lesson. This has a lot to do with my personal teaching style, but I think these are good general principles.
#1 - Good RS lessons are evenly balanced between the doctrine from the lesson, the teacher's comments and the sisters' comments.
I hate lessons where the teacher gets up there and talks the entire time. Not only are these kinds of lessons monotonous, but they are usually fairly shallow and insubstantial. Every group of Relief Society sisters has a wealth of experiences and insights they could potentially share about a given topic. When several of the sisters are actively participating in the discussion, it adds depth and variety to the lesson. Plus, it's usually a sure sign the lesson is going well. (And if you can get at least one sister to cry, the lesson was a guaranteed triumph!)
The key to getting them talking is to ask thought-provoking, open-ended questions that could be answered with more than one possible answer (and/or which could possibly encourage them to share a personal experience). It helps if you set up the question to get the sisters in the right frame of mind. For example, after reading a quote by President Eyring about giving service even during times of adversity, one of the questions I asked today was: "How does service to others---even when we ourselves may be in need---help us during times of adversity?" It invoked a lot of great responses and a few sisters shared some meaningful personal experiences about how helping someone in need had made it easier for them to endure their own trials.
If there's dead silence after I ask a particular question, I just ask the question again, rephrasing it in a different way. That gives them a little more time to process the question and think about a response. Or sometimes I let the silence sit there in the room for a moment. Americans are uncomfortable with silence and usually someone will respond to get rid of the void. :P
#2 - Always relate the lesson to Christ in some way.
Christ's life and His Atonement are at the core of the gospel. Everything else is secondary. So, if you can find some way to connect the lesson back to Christ and/or the Atonement, you will be able to invite the spirit into Relief Society. Most lessons naturally discuss Christ at some point, but occasionally you need to stretch it a little bit to get there.
For example, one time I was assigned to teach about physical and spiritual self-reliance. We spent the lion's share of the lesson talking about things like getting out of debt, putting away food storage, paying tithing, etc. And then towards the end of the lesson, I built in what I call a "surprising reversal" by throwing in a quote from Elder Hales about how paying tithes helps us learn to rely on the Lord. After the quote, I played devil's advocate by asking: "Wait! Wait! Hold on here... The title of this lesson is 'Temporal and Spiritual Self-reliance,' but Elder Hales says that tithing teaches us to rely on the Lord. Is that a contradiction? I thought the Lord wants us to be self-reliant, to stand on our own two feet---but now Elder Hales is saying that we need to rely on the Lord. Why do we need to rely on the Lord? Why do we need to learn that lesson? How does reliance upon the Lord make us more free? i.e. how is it different from being a slave to debt?" And then I built on the sister's responses to talk about how ultimately the idea of self-reliance is a fiction: whether we acknowledge it or not, we ultimately depend on the Lord for everything. Nothing is truly ours---not our money, our clothes, our cars, not even things like our talents or our intellect. ... You can see where the lesson was going from there. It totally changed the tone of lesson. You could see it in the faces of the sisters. That's the power that a lesson can have when you testify of Christ in all things.
#3 - Every sister needs to feel validated.
Throughout the course of your lesson, every sister needs to feel like they are welcome in Relief Society and that their contributions are encouraged and appreciated. There's a couple of ways that I try to accomplish this. One way I do it is by personally asking sisters to read a quote or a scripture from the lesson before Relief Society begins. When I approach a sister, I ask her if she wouldn't mind reading a quote/scripture (because sometimes people don't want to---and that's okay!). If she says yes, I give her the slip of paper with the quote or scripture on it. Then I ask her for her name and I write it down in my lesson plan next to the quote I assigned to her. This not only gives me a chance to meet and talk to sisters (especially people I don't know), it helps me to get to know their names better. A person's name is sacred and being able to refer to them by the name they preferred to be called is extremely important. Plus, I hate it when teachers ask, "Who has quote #5?" and there's a huge pause. ("Anyone? Anyone?") It's much cooler to say, "And now Sister Jenkins will share a quote by Elder Bednar..."
Another way you validate sisters is by listening carefully to the comments that they are making. Always, always, always make eye contact with the sister for the full time she is speaking. Don't look at your lesson materials or glance at the clock while they're talking. If you are writing the comments on the board, make sure you wait till the sister is done talking before you begin writing. Then, write their comment using the same phrases and words that the sister used (or fairly close to it). Also, after each comment, I think it's important to "talk back," repeating what they've said (just said in a slightly different way) or building on that comment to bring up a new point about the lesson.
Every now and then, I'll get a really... uh... "interesting" comment. When I get those difficult comments, I say a prayer in my mind asking Heavenly Father to help me find a way to validate what the sister said. An answer usually comes to my mind. Otherwise, I just say "thank you for sharing that" in a positive way.
After the lesson is over, I make sure I walk up to the sisters who shared comments and experiences during the lesson and thank them for their insights. You need to make sure you are giving sincere thanks (as opposed to mere lip service---which people can smell from a mile away). The best way to be sincere is to be specific, so I make sure I tell them specifically how it added to the lesson or how it moved me personally. That helps them know I appreciated them for taking a risk and sharing their insights. And hopefully it will help them to feel safe to comment again next time.
#4 - Stick to the doctrine.
The church is very clear that they want teachers to stick to the lesson manual when they are giving a lesson. That's one of the strongest points they emphasize in teacher training materials. It's for a good reason too. We only want to keep pure, correct doctrine in official church settings. I love delving into the "mysteries of God" as much as the next person, but it's better to restrict that to your own personal studies and private discussions with friends and family.
This is sometimes hard to do when you're teaching something like Young Women. (Those manuals are so OLD and so AWFUL.) The nice thing is that Relief Society has GREAT lesson manuals or source material (as is the case with the General Conference talks).
That being said, most of my lessons do include at least one quote or scripture that wasn't in the original lesson material. I recommend using them sparingly because the focus should be on the source material. When you do go to outside material, it should be for the purpose of building on an idea that was already expressed in the original material. Furthermore, any supplemental quotes should always come from the official church canon. To me, that means it should only come from the scriptures or from General Conference addresses.
Of course, that doesn't mean you should have your nose stuck in the manual the whole time. I don't think it's wrong to include a creative object lesson or meaningful image. Add your own personality and insights where it's appropriate.
#5 - End the lesson on time.
Respect the sister's time. When you make the sisters stay late for a lesson by going over time, you're usually forcing her entire family to wait for her out in the hall. (And we all know how reverent those primary kids are when they're sitting in the hall.) I regularly glance up at the clock and plan to end by 5 minutes to the hour. (I find the best time to do a quick time check is usually when someone is reading a quote or a scripture out loud.)
I always build in flexibility into my lessons. I prioritize what things I'm going to discuss so that I know which things I can "sacrifice" if I'm running out of time. I also plan out a few things I might discuss if I find myself with extra time on my hands. With practice, you begin to get a pretty good sense of how much material will fill up the time. (With my personal teaching style, I know that my lessons will usually fill up 3 pages on my word processor.)
#6 - Lastly, a few things to avoid...
Don't preface your lesson with a self-deprecating or negative remark. Sometimes sisters get up and talk about how they dread teaching or how they wished the practice hymn had taken more time or something. I immediately lose respect for a teacher at that moment. It makes me feel like they really didn't put their full effort into the lesson and causes me to doubt their personal credibility. That's not the right way to start a lesson.
Also, never, ever split the sisters up into groups to "discuss" something and report back to the rest of the class. Teaching Relief Society is different from teaching in a traditional educational setting. In my college classrooms, I incorporate group activities all the time. There are tons of studies showing how group work is an effective teaching method. But it just isn't true in a church setting. I don't really know why it doesn't work; I just know it doesn't. Something in me personally feels very hostile to the idea of doing group work in church. (And I know I'm not alone in this!) It's just a poor use of time and usually doesn't accomplish what the teacher was intending.
...
Anyhow, those are my tips for teaching Relief Society. Thanks for letting me get those off my chest! And good luck to any of you out there who are fortunate enough to get this wonderful calling! I'm so jealous!
Comments
rebecca said on Jun 29th:
Good advice. I know there's more than one point here I need to work on, though with the primary age kids instead. :) Knowing how to ask good questions is not something that comes naturally!
I totally second point number 5. I have to admit I have enjoyed the relief society lessons in our new ward a lot...up until they hit the hour mark. And then I just get irritated, and try to convince myself not to be irritated because I am in Church, but the whole time I'm thinking about how Paela needs to be rescued from nursery and that she's already two hours late for her nap. And then the R.S. counselor feels a need to close after the lesson with her own remarks and they insist on singing all the verses of the hymn -- fifteen minutes after the hour I can finally leave. Wishing I could just remember how I was enjoying the lesson before. :) Anyway, hopefully I'll get past that irritation soon because it seems to be the trend every week here!
Interesting that group activities don't work at Church. I wonder why?
Garth said on Jun 29th:
1 - I agree on the balance, but I often find it hard to ask the right thought provoking question. Usually I find that the best comments happen spontaneously after an initial buildup of doctrine and invoking the Spirit in the right way. 2 - I would probably say rather than always relating it to Christ, perhaps always bearing witness of what you're teaching. Often that will be a witness of Christ, but I don't feel that is always the case. 3 - Same goes for brethren. The name thing is big and I feel I've been a much less effective teacher when not knowing names. 4 - This is how my version of #1 happens. I found on my mission that it was important not to deviate to things the Spirit couldn't witness. The easiest thing to do is stick with the scriptures. If you want to make an out-of-the-box point, read the right combination of scriptures and quotes from prophets to make your point for you (and let the class make the connection). 5 - Agreed. Also, I don't think it's a sin to end a few minutes early. If you come to a nice resolution, you can stop. I've seen teachers try to blather on at the end of a lesson to fill time. It can lessen the spiritual impact. (And I'm sure I've never been guilty of blathering on myself). 6 - That could lead to a whole blog post on what not to do when speaking in church!Also, I totally agree on group work. It has always, always been a waste for me. The first problem is lack of leadership. You put 5 ppl on a task and there just isn't instant cooperation. You need a leader. Often tasks cannot be subdivided well such as the notion of having multiple ppl read different parts of scripture and then summarizing the whole thing.
OK, I wish I had more background in teaching now. But I agreee with you: teaching is the best calling.
grandma sheri said on Jun 29th:
Those are some wonderful ideas. I think we all can always improve our teaching ways.
Jamey said on Jul 1st:
Your ideas are fabulous!!! As I read them I can see how incorporating your techniques really help the teacher to look confident and more importantly invite the Spirit. I also love how you validate the sisters who participate. Nothing irritates me more than a sisters comments not being validated by the teacher. Since I'm education counselor I wonder if I could share these ideas with my teachers for our upcoming board meeting:-)
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