caferock.org

Sounding My Barbaric Yawps Across the Rooftops

Updated on Weekends

• home
• chris
• alyssa
• kid rock
• pet rock
• login

Sounding My Barbaric Yawps Across the Rooftops

Entries 1 - 5 of 178

• Aug 31st - Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 5)
• Aug 30th - Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 4)
• Aug 29th - Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 3)
• Aug 28th - Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 2)
• Aug 27th - Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 1)

More Entries

View All

Recent Comments

• Breanne on Motherhood Feminism
• Breanne on Motherhood Feminism
• Breanne on Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 4)
• Breanne on Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 2)
• Alyssa` on Why Are Mormon Church Meetings So Dull?: A Response (Part 2)

Entry

If I Ever Lose My Faith in You

Posted by Alyssa - August 13th, 2009

This picture is entitled "Leap of Faith."

A few years ago, I began keeping a list of the key spiritual moments that inform my faith---moments in which I could clearly see the influence of God's hand in my life. I kept this list because I believe it is fairly natural for one's faith to ebb and flow---to have "peaks and troughs" as C.S. Lewis calls it in The Screwtape Letters. And when I am in a "trough" of faith, I can look back to those key spiritual moments to remind myself why I believe and why I keep enduring in my faith.

I am somewhat hesitant to share these spiritual moments in a public space such as a blog. However, in light of an interesting post a while ago by Steve Peck and since Chris and I celebrate our fifth anniversary today (yay!), I thought I would share a small and simple, but powerful spiritual experience I had five years ago.

To give you some context, Chris and I have been married for five years, but we've known each other for nine. We were co-workers at the Jamba Juice in the Wilkinson Center, which is where we first met. We dated each other on and off (mostly off) for four years. But we were friends through it all.

Around March 2004, I was on campus at BYU meeting with my employer. (I had a side job working a few hours a week for the TMA department while I was going to graduate school at the U.) Chris just happened to call me on my cell phone right as I was getting out of my meeting. He wanted to know if I was interested in going out to eat somewhere.

I should mention that before that phone call, we hadn't spoken for several months. It was a complete coincidence that I answered my phone AND that I was on campus and was therefore close to his apartment. He later told me that he had just wanted to go eat somewhere and didn't really care who he went with. In fact, he had called several people before me, but they hadn't answered their phones.

I picked him up and we went out to a little Peruvian restaurant called La Carretas. I don't really remember what we talked about at dinner, but I remember that it was one of those rare moments when I experienced pure joie de vivre. We just really connected. The conversation was entertaining, intellectually stimulating and just plain fun. It reminded me of all the great moments Chris and I had shared as friends. As I drove home that night, I felt a sense of excitement as I thought about how much I enjoyed Chris and how he seemed to bring out the best side of my personality. (Chris later told me that he felt the same way that night.)

We went back to life as normal after that night and we didn't talk again for a week or so. But not long afterward, I went through the South Jordan temple with my mom to see my cousin get sealed to her husband. While I was in the Celestial Room, I received a very strong impression that I needed to date Chris---possibly because I should marry him.

A few weeks later, Chris and I began dating seriously. Since we had had been friends with each other for so long, we got engaged soon afterward. We planned to marry each other 5 months later.

There's a cliché in Mormon culture that says Satan works his hardest on you just before you're about to do something good. It seems to be true of the period of time when I was engaged to Chris. Our engagement started out with the usual rosy cheerfulness, but we also started having several arguments. The closer we got to our wedding day, I began to forget that sense of excitement I had felt at La Carretas. In spite of that, I never once thought about backing out of our wedding because of the strong impression I had received in the South Jordan Temple.

Our wedding came and went. And soon it was time for Chris and me to leave on our own as husband and wife. I was feeling very emotional from the stress of the wedding and I was also quite depressed by the thought that I was "leaving" my family. I cried for the first hour as we were driving off together. But all of those mixed feelings soon melted away in the next few hours. I remember feeling a warm sense of gratitude for Chris and I knew at that moment that I had been right to marry him.

I feel now that it was somewhat of a leap of faith to act on that first impression I received in the South Jordan temple. Yes, Chris and I were good friends and we meshed well, but it's nothing compared to the relationship we have now. (And that engagement period was kinda rough at times.)

I don't mean to brag, but I feel very happy about our marriage. I can't really put it into words, but I just enjoy being with him so much. We share a lot in common and we can often read each other's thoughts. He's also a wonderful father and I appreciate how willing he is to help around the house. The decision to marry him was one of the best decisions I've ever made. Our marriage is a genuine source of happiness in my life.

And so, during times when I am in the "troughs" of faith, it comforts me to look over at Chris and remember that God certainly does exist and takes an active interest in our lives. Because I know that He led me here.